Truly Alive
by Rizu Neko-Chan
Summary: When you're a walking mistake created by a poor tailor, what life do you have to live? How can you live when you know you cannot die? A conflict between life and death sparks when Ryou Shirogane created life he never meant to keep. //AU Oneshot


(A.N./ I know, I know. I should be working on the next chapter to TLLS, but I needed to get this story off my back, because it's been formulating in my head for about two months now. This is _supposed _to be the first chapter of a full-length, all-out chapter story, but I'm turning it into a suspenseful oneshot because I don't think I can handle two stories at once. That, and I don't have much of an idea of where I would go from here. The only reason I would have to continue is if I got some insane amount of reviews, like how my good friend Safia Bara got 60-something reviews to her oneshot and decided to continue. Lucky girl! -envious- So, without further ado, here you are!)

_--x--_

_February 21st__, 1892. _

_Chicago, Illinois._

_A warm sunset spreads brilliant hues of orange, yellow, and a tint of bright pink over the horizon of the city. Evening is just beginning to close on the people of the town, and children are being called inside for their bedtimes. Men patrol the streets, dutifully lighting the gas lamps along the way. Shadows are just beginning to cast over the buildings. Night is creeping quickly._

_Down a small street off to the side, a young man works diligently with a needle and a thread. He is a tailor, and, though he usually makes clothing, he has taken up the art of doll making in his spare time._

_--x--_

The small body of a doll lay in Ryou Shirogane's hands as he wove a needle through it, making careful, tiny little stitches; in, out, in out, with the patience of a talented man. Eyeing a little brown box off to his right, Ryou set the doll down and took off the lid of the box. From it, he plucked a little bell. He delicately set the small, silver object inside the body of the doll with a little plink. Deep down, he knew that the bell would not ring when it was finished, but he left it there nevertheless: a futile hope.

Once he tied the last knot and clipped the last thread, he gave the doll a little shake. Sure enough, nothing was heard. Ryou let out a sigh. Tired and bored, he reached for two other incomplete dolls he had set to the side. In each one, he placed a little bell. Then he sewed them up and shook them in vain.

Ryou glanced up out the window to look outside. It was quite dark now, the sky being an inky, black indigo. The streets were empty of people. Everyone was sleeping by now. But not Ryou Shirogane.

Sighing once more, Ryou stuffed the dolls into a drawer of his old, ebony desk: his pride and joy.

"And there you will stay," Ryou mumbled, looking at the drawer as if speaking to it. "What am I doing? Talking to dolls? I some rest…"

After preparing himself for bed, he fell asleep almost immediately, unaware of what he had just created.

_--xx--_

_A pair of eyes shines out in the drawer of the desk. Like the lamps lit on the street, they are gold like fire, as alive as a wild beast. A pale, cold hand grasps for the edge of the drawer and slowly pushes it open…_

_--xx--_

Ryou Shirogane was shocked. More than that, he was _appalled_. Books, papers, clothes, shoes, ink, and food were scattered all over his house. It was a complete mess, and Ryou had no idea who or what had caused it. That is, until his eye caught on something from across the room.

There, sitting in front of his windowpanes, were three dolls. They were the dolls he had abandoned the night previous. However, they were much different. Much, much different. They were _mutated_. Their hair and eyes were of bizarre colors, their ears were of abnormal length, and their clothes looked like the strangest ones he had ever seen in his life. And to think, he had not been the one who dressed them. They had dressed _themselves_.

_Pull yourself together, Ryou, _he thought. _Dolls can't make themselves. This must be some kind of sick joke._

But who would do such a thing? Ryou did not exactly have "mortal enemies", and his assistant, Masaya Aoyama, was gone to visit relatives back East. There was no other explanation: the dolls did it themselves.

"It must be Mother trying to tell me something," Ryou muttered, pacing back and forth. "But why would she do this?"

Ryou's mother had died several months ago, much to Ryou's despair. He had grown accustomed to living alone, but he always had the feeling he was being watched. The idea of his mother's ghost watching him had crossed his mind more than a few times. Frankly, it scared him. Ryou was living in paranoia since. On the other hand, he figured that his mother wouldn't do such cruel things to him, so he dismissed the idea quickly.

Ryou glanced back towards the dolls. Nasty little things. However, he couldn't take them apart. No, he was afraid of what would happen if he did. Maybe some terrible curse would come upon him, or maybe the dolls would come back to life for revenge. Of course, Ryou still wasn't sure if the dolls had made themselves and left his house in a wreck or not. It still seemed too unrealistic in his mind.

Left in a melancholy mood, Ryou set to work on tidying up his house. Minute after minute passed. He was making progress, but slow progress. Book after book, shoe after shoe, he replaced things to their proper places. One thing Ryou did notice, however, was that nothing was stolen or damaged. Everything was just messily out of place. If someone that disliked him were to come into his house, then he would have stolen things from it instead of leaving everything intact. Even Ryou's gold pocket watch was still present, though slung hastily over the mantelpiece.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Ryou was finished cleaning. Figuring he would take the rest of the day off, he relaxed in his spare time and finished a few projects he had been meaning to get to earlier. His day continued as normal.

When night crept up on him, however, he took the three dolls down from in front of the window and shoved them in the desk drawer. This time, he backed a chair up against it and stacked a heavy box full of fabric on top of that. He dusted off his hands, and, satisfied with his work, headed off to bed.

_--x--_

"_He left us. He betrayed us. He hates us now. What reason would we have to live if we cannot die?"_

_--x--_

Day after day, Ryou found that, every morning, his house was in a mess. Everything was out of place with the dolls sitting innocently in front of the window in the same position every night. It took Ryou so long to clean up that running the business was harder than before. His schedule was tighter, his customers more demanding to why he didn't open earlier. Nevertheless, Ryou couldn't tell of the dolls, or everyone would think he was crazy. He couldn't do anything about it. Not only that, but, over the course of time, the damage grew worse and worse. Things began to turn up broken or chipped. Clothes, food, everything would end up in the ashes of the fireplace at one point or another. The dolls were literally ridding Ryou of his house and home.

One morning, about a month after the "haunting" started, when Ryou got up to clean as usual (for he would wake up earlier so he could get it done faster), he discovered a little surprise etched onto his ebony desk.

In messy words, carved with what appeared to be a seam ripper was the words: "YOU BETRAYED US".

Ryou was now terrified for his life. It had gone too far. The dolls were sure to kill him if this were to continue. He thought long and hard, pacing across the room. Why were the dolls coming to life? What had he done so that these dolls came to life, and not any of the other ones he had made? After a few minutes of thinking, he sat up in his stool and declared, "I've got it! The bells! I sewed those bells into them!"

He sat down at his desk and took out the materials that he had used for the mutant dolls. Carefully, slowly, and with small stitches, he fastened together a body of a doll. Before he attached the head, however, he reached for the little brown box that held the bells. He plucked one out and dropped it into the doll. To go with it, he made a simple red dress, red yarn hair, and two big, brown button eyes. He stitched a little smile onto the face with black thread.

Once he was finished, though, he gave the doll another look. It was missing something, he decided. So he fastened two hand-made kitty ears to either side of her head and a kitty tail on her back to match.

Satisfied, Ryou nodded to himself. She would be the counter-force for the other mutant dolls. Or, at least, the first of the counter-force. He decided that he would have to make more later since the little girl he just created was outnumbered one to three. For now, night was approaching, and Ryou guessed that that was when the dolls were active.

Ryou set the doll on the windowsill and moved the mutant dolls to the other side of the room on a stool. Then he walked over to a concealed corner of the room and sat watching, his eyes fixed upon the doll of the little girl.

Time passed. Minutes ticked by slowly. Ryou was beginning to get anxious. What if this whole doll thing was a hoax? What if the dolls would kill him? What if the little girl doll would be torn apart by the others? What if…he was waiting for nothing?

Ryou was just considering getting up when something miraculous happened. The doll of the little girl rose to her feet. As she did, her limbs gained strength and began to look like human limbs. Her nubs of hands became detailed with fingers, and her face became that of a real human being. At last, she opened her eyes.

Ryou bit his lip to stop himself from gasping. To think he had created such a beautiful girl as this. He _made _her. He was his own.

The little girl looked over herself and giggled in glee. She spun around in circles, waving her tail in the air like a real cat. Her dress flew out around her in a circle, and she admired the way it flowed. Finally, she came to a stop and felt her face in amazement. The look in her eyes was the one of a baby who just opened their eyes, or a child who just saw their new sibling. It was a look of happiness, a look of the joy of living, of discovering something new.

The peaceful mood was quickly broken, however, by a voice calling out from the opposite side of the room.

"Hm, what's this? A stray kitty?" Ryou cursed under his breath. The mutants had discovered her. He watched in grim fascination as the air behind the girl rippled like waves on water, and out came the mutant with the green hair and gold eyes. Ryou scowled. It looked even weirder alive than as a doll. Worse than that, it was circling the girl like a vulture to prey. She assumed a defensive position, hugging her arms close to herself and moving her eyes along with the mutant's movements.

Soon after the first of the mutants came the other two, an older one with purple hair and eyes and a shorter one with brown hair and gold eyes (not unlike the first of their kind). The first of them was still observing the new object: the frightened girl.

"Calm yourself, Kish," the taller, purple one said coldly. He seemed a few years older than the other two, almost a young adult. His voice echoed the other signs of his age. What surprised Ryou, however, was the name he called the green-haired one.

_Kish? _Ryou thought. _Like the food?_

The little girl looked overwhelmed and panicked as she asked hesitantly, "Um…who are you guys?"

"Ah, I forgot to introduce myself to the lovely young lady," said Kish with a smirk and a bow. "My name is Kish, and these two are my comrades, Pie and Tart." He nodded to the purple-haired one and the brown-haired one, respectively. "We took the liberty of naming ourselves since our creator refuses to communicate with us." Kish looked grim. Ryou frowned.

"Why?" the girl asked curiously.

"He considered us mutants because the bells inside us didn't ring, and the way we dressed ourselves after he shoved us in a drawer scared him. After that, he tried to lock us in that desk and forget about us. We've been trying to…_make some noise_…so that he will respect us more. Yet he still ignores us! What a heartless creator."

Ryou was shocked at the new perspective the mutants introduced. They seemed to think and behave like normal humans. He felt a sense of guilt, regret…and maybe even pity at what he had done. He shook the feelings out of his head, though, when he saw what Kish did next.

"So," Kish continued, leaning forward and giving the girl a kiss on the cheek, "What is your name, honey?"

Now Ryou was infuriated with Kish. Not only had Kish poisoned his doll's idea of him, he was trying to look like the good guy in his place. Overcome by hatred, Ryou burst out of his hiding place, faced the group of small people, and declared, "Her name is Ichigo!"

All eyes turned to him in shocked silence. Ryou continued, his voice softening, "…after the wild strawberries her hair reminds me of…"

"You…" Kish hissed, stepping back from Ichigo, "You were the one to create us, to give us life. You brought us into the bodies of these dolls, only to throw us away because we didn't meet your expectations! You threw us away like an old toy or an old shoe." Kish slowly began to advance on Ryou with slow, deliberate steps. He raised his hands to the level of his head, palms facing down. Ryou narrowed his eyes, wondering what he was doing, before two objects began to materialize in his palms. A brief flash of light, and there stood two sharp needles in Kish's hands, glittering from the light of the moon. Kish glared up at Ryou with sour pride. Meanwhile, Ichigo was looking as scared as ever. Pie and Tart both seemed to be in defensive mode, but enjoying the show nevertheless.

"In addition to that," Kish continued, "you go on to make new life after us! What was she made for: another experiment to throw away, or a replacement to console you over your failure?"

"She was created to stop you and your two other companions from putting me out of my house and my work!" Ryou challenged, taking a step forward. Almost immediately, Ichigo dropped to her knees and looked up at Ryou with sorrowful eyes.

"Is that the only reason I was created? To be your slave?" she whimpered in despair. Ryou almost felt his heart break inside of him when he saw the way her cat ears drooped and her tail fell to the table. He wanted to comfort her, to console her, to tell her it was alright. But, unfortunately, someone beat him to it.

"See what I mean?" Kish insisted, walking backwards and dropping his weapons with a clatter. "Look what you did!" He dropped down next to Ichigo and brushed her bangs out of her eyes, asking affectionately, "Are you okay, kitten?" The smaller of Kish's colleagues, Taruto, rolled his eyes at the behavior of his older companion.

Ryou was not only angry at Kish, he was angry at himself. He was angry that the sentence had slipped out like that. Now Ichigo was sure to hate him. His attempt at a counter-force would turn a one-eighty since what he meant to be his defense would surely become the offense. An idea sprung to his mind, however, when he thought about what Ichigo _would_ like to be created for.

"Ichigo?" he asked after a minute or so, "I'm only a lowly tailor with no family and no one to help me through the hard winter except for my kind assistant. I'm very lonely right now. Will you please be my friend?"

Ichigo's face brightened almost instantly. She sat up and nodded her head vigorously, saying, "Yes, of course I will! That makes me feel so much better!" She beamed cheerfully, and Ryou smiled back. Ryou then walked over to the table to where the doll/people were standing. Kish, Pie, and Tart all drew weapons this time, positioned on guard in case of attack. Instead of turning his attention to them, however, Ryou lowered his hand the side of the table and beckoned to Ichigo, "Step on. Don't be afraid." Ichigo hesitantly walked over to his hand and sat down on it like a bench. Ryou was dazzled by how Ichigo felt: as warm and soft as a human would feel, yet she didn't seem to breathe. He lifted her up to his face to examine her, and for Ichigo to do the same.

"You really are a pretty doll…" Ryou thought aloud. Ichigo seemed to be beaming with pride, a light blush appearing on her face. "I know what I'll do! I'll make you some more friends your size! You can all be one big club. I'll even make them animal features like yours!" Ichigo seemed like she was going to take off and fly, the way her face lifted and her delight-filled eyes shined. She seemed like the child that saw Santa Claus or the father who heard his young child speak. It made Ryou feel utterly happy and at peace with himself.

"Cease this foolishness immediately!" commanded Pie. Now everyone's attention was focused on him. "I strongly oppose your ideas of new life when we have no chance of living a happy life. We have no purpose, no real reason to be alive except for your selfish reasons."

"Of course you can be happy!" argued Ryou. "Why not?"

"For one, we're only alive at night. Secondly, we can't enjoy as many things as the humans due to our size. Thirdly, we can't be seen outside or we'd be torn apart, confiscated, or taken in by the police or government. We're trapped in this prison of a workshop, and you know it. Our only way to die is to be torn apart." Pai finished with a downcast mumble of "…torn apart…"

"It's been countless times, constant painful attempts that I've tried to kill myself," Kish cut in with a sullen voice. "Even burning myself doesn't work. I just wake up on the fireplace mantle a minute or two later. It's impossible to die by ourselves."

Ichigo shrunk into a depressed posture on Ryou's hand. She scrunched up into a ball and hugged her knees close, burying her face in their warmth. Ryou stopped to consider the boys' words for a moment. He then replied, "But living once in this form is better than never existing at all, isn't it? Even though I can't yet explain why you were born with basic human knowledge, you're still alive and well, aren't you?"

His words seemed to catch the boys by surprise, and Ichigo raised her head from her knees.

"Whether you think it or not, there are always ways to enjoy the life you have instead of just trying to throw it away! That's why I'm making Ichigo friends: so her and more new life will be able to experience the world in the best way I can make possible!" The boys fell silent. Pie's eyes were rapidly shifting, searching for a comeback to Ryou's speech. Ichigo simply stared up at Ryou in awe and admiration.

"Fine," Kish murmured after a few moments of silence, "But as long as you continue to bring new life here to suffer, we'll keep trying to stop you!" He motioned to Pie and Tart, who both nodded in return. They all turned their backs to Ryou and Ichigo and began to teleport once again. Neither Ichigo nor Ryou made a move to stop them. "See ya, kitten," said Kish with a wave towards Ichigo. Then, they were gone.

_--x--_

_March 14__th__, 1892._

_1:54 A.M._

_Chicago is asleep. But not Ryou Shirogane, who is conversing with his new doll…who is also his new friend. They both exchange questions and answers about each other, sparking what is to be a close bond between them._

_Chicago is asleep. But not Masaya Aoyama, who just arrived by carriage and is awake in a motel, his head throbbing from an unexpected pain. A voice calls out from the deep depths of his soul, his very being: "Give in. There's no reason to be afraid. Let go."_

_Chicago is asleep. But not three figures plotting their next move. One fights to think of a retaliation to Ryou's argument, one is muttering about the red-haired "old hag", and one is plotting the bloody murder of Ryou Shirogane. _

_--x--_


End file.
